I miss you, Dad

It’s been about two and a half months since you’ve left us – in fact the three month mark is looming in the near future. Not only did we celebrate our first of your birthday’s without you but we will be celebrating our first Father’s Day without you.

You are the glue that has held me and my family together, the best friend I grew up with and entered adulthood with, the person who was there helping his granddaughters lead a “normal” life while their mom was fighting for her life and their dad was by her side encouraging and supporting her.

I miss you tremendously, day in and day out. So far, the pain isn’t getting any less and the hole in my heart isn’t shrinking. There is a huge void, where I wish I could just see you and hug you one last time, give you a kiss on your cheek and tell you I love you.

Seeing you after the accident, in a casket wearing your favourite hat, sweater, jeans and cowboy boots, with your blue watch that’s almost worn through and your chain left me such great peace knowing that you were somewhere where you weren’t hurting anymore – physically or emotionally.

So much about life has changed, W and I have closed two chapters in two and a half months. We sold our house in Sylvan Lake to move to your property to maintain it while we finalize your estate with the hopes of purchasing your property and living your dream and the life you had chose to live that we have always wanted to live. The perfect unfortunate circumstances – the positive and the sadness that comes with the accident but knowing that we have the opportunity to have this property and carry on the legacy behind you.

My heart will continue to break, I’m sure, until the end of time. With each passing day, the pain comes and goes, the memories come and go. Laughter comes but sometimes laughter disappears just as fast as it came. I don’t truly know how to describe what I am feeling, except by saying part of me feels completely empty and lost because YOU are no longer here.

One day, I will see you again, I will see you at peace with love and devotion in your eyes. Knowing that you’re keeping an eye on us and keeping us safe, smiling down on us each time the sun mysteriously comes out from behind an entire cloud filled sky.

You are my saviour and you are our hero. We will love you, cherish you, remember you and carry out your legacy, Poppyos.

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