Nothing could have prepared me for the pain I was going to experience, both physically and mentally. The pain of each needle being pushed between my vertebrae as spinal fluid was released and chemotherapy injected, over and over.
“Why me?” never really crossed my mind because I knew that whatever Burkitts Lymphoma challenged me with, it served a purpose in my life.
The anxiety that riddles my mind through all of the good and bad memories can be debilitating, leaving me crippled at the fear of reoccurrence or crippled at the thought of experiencing that level of pain again.
Through all of this, I have become a stronger human-being in so many ways. Not the superhero kind of strength but the strength of a healthy mind to help me through the twists and turns that lie ahead.
Life isn’t designed to be a straight forward path, it’s designed to have twists, bumps and forks where we choose what happens, and every once in a while you’re thrown for a complete loop and your path is a complete road block.
You don’t expect it. The road block shows up and your world is upside down, you feel like you’re moving forward, yet it’s like you’re on a hamster wheel. Spinning, round and round until you’re so dizzy you’re not sure what surface is stable to brace yourself.
Each twist brings new tears, new heartache, new pain. Each bump brings you a small piece of resilience, of patience, of kindness, of gratitude. Every decision you make is another fork in the path you’re slashing out for your future, so you weigh each step moving forward.
You move one step at a time, slashing the brush ahead of you. Afraid to take that next step into the unknown because the unknown, is well, unknown. You don’t know what’s going to come, it could be good and it could be bad. Life might surprise you with something absolutely amazing or something incredibly devastating.
You don’t move forward without putting one foot in front of the other, without taking that step and slashing that brush. You’ve got this, you’re strong. You can handle this. You were made for this. Move forward, and keep going – carve out the windy, bumpy and fork filled path that is your life because it will all be worth it in the end.