Recovery

Recovery is bloody long and hard. I’ve gone from barely being able to climb the stairs at my house to running up them now. I’m now able to carry, not one but two, girls at the same time!

I can plank too. Who would have thought? I sure as hell didn’t, I even did it for 20 seconds with Hailey sitting on my back. I’m finding things I can do now that I’m not sure I could have done before.

On Friday, I helped my wedding client set up for their ceremony, when I got home Hailey grabbed my hand and brought me into the living room, “down” as she points to the floor. I lay down on my stomach, she gets on my back with her legs straddling my shoulders. “Up mama”, mean while I’m thinking, “oh god, am I going to be able to do this?” Wade is on the floor because he and Hailey had just been wrestling, so he’s watching and ready to catch us if we fall. Let me tell you, I got up from laying down flat, to hands and knees, to squat, then to fully standing with Hailey on my shoulders, and making sure she didn’t fall off. I was SO impressed with my strength.

When I look at how far I’ve come in my recovery, over the 3 months I’ve been home, I’m blown away. I’m blown away at all that I’ve achieved. I went for a 4km walk through a corn maze, carrying Hailey through most of it on uneven ground and all. I shock and surprise myself every day with the things I can accomplish.

I accomplished and pulled off a clients wedding this weekend, on 4 hours of sleep. This is HUGE. So huge.

I won’t lie, recovery hasn’t been easy. I started at the beginning. Little to no muscle mass, I could barely hold Hadley, never mind Hailey, I couldn’t do the stairs, I could barely get up off the floor without using the couch, chair or ottoman to help me do the transition. Now I’m running, I’m chasing the girls, doing the stairs with ease, and surviving a client wedding, all 3 months out of chemotherapy treatment. If this doesn’t motivate someone, I don’t know what will.

You can do this. You can get through this. You can blow people away. You can amaze yourself. It’s okay to have bad days, it’s okay to have days where you struggle, it’s okay to be scared or afraid. You do what you can do, and strive to reach a little farther or walk a little farther each day.