Every now and then I have these moments, moments of pure gratefulness. Moments where I’m happy my body fought for me, and I’m overwhelmed with the fight Wade had in him, for me.
Tonight, for example, I had a grateful moment. Hailey was still awake and fiddling around, as Wade did bed time and she doesn’t seem to settle as well for him. So I went in and snuggled with her, she proceeded to rub my cheek, put her little hand on my shoulder to hold me there, and rub my hand/arm while I was snuggling her. These moments, they bring the tears. They bring so many tears, you don’t realize how much you would be missing out on if you weren’t here. You don’t realize how much you did miss out on, being in the hospital for 6 months. I have tears streaming down my face, she’s calmed and stopped moving, just laying there, so I decide to try and leave. I’m standing, and I hear a “pat pat” of her hand hitting the bed in the sense of “mommy, come back”
By this point, more tears are streaming down my face, and snot too because I’m a blubbering mess. God, I missed these nights. I missed them every single night for a whole six months.
I missed 6 months of putting the girls to bed, 6 months of rocking them and singing “You Are My Sunshine” as they drifted off into a slumber. I’m not missing any more nights from here on out, I will do everything in my power not to.
My girls, are my life. My husband, is my life. The family we have created is our life. These are the people that mean the most to me. Their little giggles, laughter, happiness, sadness, crying, stubbornness, and milestones. These are my grateful moments.
Surviving; Life, Cancer & Beyond 